I’m a unicorn! I only crave broccoli, sunshine, and a tall glass of cucumber water.
NOPE. I’m a personal trainer, but I’m also a human being, and even though I do love sunshine, broccoli, and cucumber water, I also like sugary treats, good chocolate, and the world’s best food, PIZZA. Here’s how I really handle food and sugar cravings.
1. I don’t view any food as “off-limits”.
I never have to sit around and fantasize about macaroni and cheese, ice cream, brownies, nachos, or champagne. If I really want one of those things, I have it! (More on that in a second.) There are foods that I respect myself too much to eat (like fast food and foods to which I’m allergic), but otherwise I don’t have anything on a NEVER AGAIN list.
2. I don’t manage my feelings with food.
Unless what you’re feeling is “hungry”, food is not the answer.
I know, tough one.
But suppose you’re feeling bummed about your mean boss. You know you should look for a new job because things have been bad for a long time, but you would have to update your resume, squeeze into your interview suit, and suffer through the uncertainty of the hiring process. You feel tired, frustrated, hurt, stuck, and hopeless.
So, you have a glass of wine and some salami and cheese for dinner. And another glass of wine. And a bar of chocolate. And a bowl of cereal. And the rest of the bottle of wine. And whatever that was in the tupperware. You wake up in the morning and go to the same job where you still feel tired, frustrated, hurt, stuck and hopeless, but your pants are a little tighter and you’re a little more foggy and bummed out that usual from the depressant effects of the wine.
And two months later, you’re still waking up like that most mornings. You feel worse, your job isn’t getting any better, and you’re no closer to fixing anything.
(Okay, sorry, too close to home, I know. Put down the wine.)
Eating your feelings is kind of like that quote about how resentment is drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die…if this is your go-to coping strategy, you’re only hurting yourself.
When I have big, tough, difficult feelings, I:
- feel them (cry, call a friend, take a deep breath, throw something, whatever is needed)
- look at what I could realistically and unrealistically do about the problem
- put my solution steps on my to-do list or LET IT GO if it’s out of my hands.
(It’s always safe to let bad things go…if they need you, you know they’ll be back.)
3. I let treats be special, and do NOT use them as rewards.
It’s bad marketing to say so, but every day isn’t a celebration. I don’t need a cupcake because it’s Tuesday, and I definitely do NOT “earn” my food by working out, handling tough situations, or surviving a work week.
Well, one time I did. One time, last November, I truly DID earn my right to eat a mini container of vanilla Haagen-Dazs for breakfast at 7:30am and I have no regrets.
If you’re not a dog in training, food is not a reward. Food is a physiological necessity, an often-pleasurable experience, and an opportunity to be creative, expressive, and nourished all at once. Food can be really joyful! But it’s not a reward.
When I have a “treat” food, I savor the moment. I try to make it an experience with a friend or loved one. I enjoy the best version of whatever I wanted that I can find. I don’t settle. I don’t rush. I don’t even instagram it. I don’t worry about when I will have it again or what it will do to my body.
4. I don’t really think about food outside of mealtimes.
I used to think about food all the time because I wasn’t eating enough, so I was always hungry. (Is that your problem?! 80/20 chance, yes!) So, now I eat my meals and my snacks, I enjoy them, and I take things one day at a time.
5. I don’t (usually) read into my cravings.
Sugar cravings are usually from being hungry, tired, dehydrated, stressed, or at the start of an illness; they don’t mean I need sugar. Chocolate cravings are usually about being tired or lonely, or mayyybe low on magnesium or iron. I don’t need to spend a lot of time analyzing my fleeting cravings – I can just decide if I want to have the thing I’m craving now or wait until another time.
6. I eat by macros, not calories.
While I do need to maintain a sufficient intake to fuel my life, I look at my macronutrient (carb, protein, fat) balance more than I do my calories. If I eat the right macro balance, I don’t have a lot of cravings. I also have room in my food intake budget for occasional treats.
7. I include occasional treats in my lifestyle – usually at least twice a week!
One thing I love about Whole30 is that they discourage making “healthy” treat foods (no oreos made from dates, raw cacao, and tears of failure) – I think that if you’re going to have a treat, you should probably have what you want! If I want a cookie, I have the real deal and not a cookie-inspired, stevia-sweetened oatmeal smoothie.
(You know why? Because be real – you’ll have the smoothie and STILL have the cookie because it wasn’t the same. So just have the cookie.)
I don’t eat much added sugar since I don’t eat a lot of packaged foods, so I’m not worried about having a sugary coffee drink or an extra handful of tortilla chips every now and then. I don’t think about them or plan ahead, because since I stay on top of my nutrition 90% of the time, I can let 10% be fun food.
If I’m in a chocolate phase, I’ll include a few dark chocolate chips with my breakfast. If I’m in a pasta phase, I’ll eat reasonable portions of pasta at dinner. Same for ice cream, pizza, mac and cheese, bread with olive oil, or any other craveable treat. I don’t have to gorge because I won’t like the way I (physically) feel afterward, and because there will be more whenever I’d like it.
8. When I have the time, I make the treat myself.
I really wanted something with caramel earlier today, but I can’t eat dairy right now (hopefully that’s not a forever thing, y’all!). I took 10 minutes, including the time to clean the pan afterward, to heat a little water and brown sugar on the stove, stir in some vegan “butter”, and finish it with a splash of vanilla extract.
I put this tip last because it’s totally optional and just a personal thing that I do, but I think it’s fun to play around in the kitchen. Part art, part science, part tasty. I might not get to play more than a couple of times a month, but I enjoy making new discoveries when I can.
If this seems too good to be true, know that I’m a real human being who arrived at this spot all by myself!
I’m a human being who soothed my pre-teen angst with lots of instant noodles and creamy sauces.
I’m a human being who used to believe that I for sure had earned luxurious happy hours every single week because my job was, like, SO hard.
I’m a human being who gets stressed out and stares at the pantry shelves for answers, but has nothing good in there anyway and has to go confront the real issue that has nothing to do with food.
And if what I’m saying here seems really impossible and too good to be true, there is nothing wrong with talking to a person who listens to people for a living about your feelings about food! An awful lot of people have deeply entrenched patterns of misusing food for things other than actual hunger, and a little help can change those ways for good.
